What to Expect in Couples Therapy

What to Expect in Couple's Counselling aka Marriage Therapy

Signing up for marriage therapy can be daunting. You might worry about feeling judged, fear that therapy could make things worse, or simply feel anxious about sharing personal issues with a stranger. These are all valid concerns. However, I'm here to assure you that taking this step is a courageous move towards healing and strengthening your relationship.

I've been working with Muslim couples for over 20 years, helping them navigate the complexities of marriage and find deeper connections. In my practice, you are in good hands, with a compassionate approach that respects your values and beliefs.

One of the primary methods I use in my practice is the Gottman Method, a scientifically backed approach that focuses on improving relationship satisfaction through structured interventions and practical skills. Below, I outline what you can expect during the therapeutic process and answer some questions that many couples have about the process.

What is the Gottman Method of Marriage Therapy?

The Gottman Method is an evidence-based approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This method, grounded in decades of research, focuses on improving relationship satisfaction and stability through structured interventions and practical skills.

Here's what you can expect throughout the process:

Initial Joint Session

We begin with a joint session where I will gather a detailed history of your relationship, including the happy times and current challenges. This session helps me understand the dynamics of your relationship and the specific issues you face.

Online Assessment: The Gottman Relationship Checkup (GRC)

After the initial session, you'll complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup (GRC), an online assessment designed to provide a comprehensive evaluation of your relationship. The GRC covers various aspects of your relationship, such as friendship, intimacy, conflict management, and shared values.|

Individual Sessions

The assessment phase also includes an individual session with each spouse. These sessions allow each partner to share their personal perspectives and any individual concerns they may have. This helps in painting a complete picture of the relationship dynamics.

Feedback Session

Once the GRC is completed, we will meet for a feedback session. During this session, I will discuss the results of the assessment, highlighting both the strengths and the areas that need improvement. We will then collaboratively develop a tailored treatment plan to address your unique needs and goals.

What to Expect During Treatment Sessions

The treatment sessions in the Gottman Method are designed to be structured and goal-oriented. The interventions in therapy around focus areas that are crucial to building a strong bond:

1. Building Love Maps: Enhancing your knowledge of each other's worlds to foster a deeper connection.
2. Sharing Fondness and Admiration: Expressing appreciation and respect to strengthen your bond.
3. Turning Towards Each Other: Improving everyday interactions and responding positively to bids for connection.
4. Managing Conflict: Learning what to avoid to stop damaging your relationship. We also practice interventions to navigate disagreements constructively.
5. Creating Shared Meaning: Building a life together with shared values, goals, and rituals that support your partnership.
6. Making Life Dreams Come True: Supporting each other's aspirations and personal goals.
7. Maintaining a Positive Perspective: Approaching problems with a positive attitude and repairing relationship failures effectively.

Throughout these sessions, you'll practice specific exercises and techniques designed to enhance your relationship's quality and stability. The therapy is conducted with both partners together to promote mutual understanding and collaboration. The goal is to support you in talking to each other in a safe way which promotes connection and understanding.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: How long does the Gottman Method therapy take?
A: The duration of therapy varies depending on the couple's needs and goals. Typically, couples attend weekly sessions over three months.

Q: How long are the individual and couple sessions?
A: Individual sessions are a minimum of 60 minutes in length and the couple sessions are a minimum of 75 -90 minutes long

Q: What if we have already tried other forms of therapy?
A: The Gottman Method is unique in its structured, research-based approach. Even if other therapies haven't worked for you, this method offers practical skills and strategies that can make a significant difference.

Q: Is the Gottman Method compatible with Islamic principles?
A: Absolutely. The Gottman Method's core principles of respect, empathy, and effective communication align well with Islamic teachings on marriage and relationships. I am comfortable in tailoring the Gottman Method to honor and incorporate Islamic values and practices, ensuring that the therapy is both effective and respectful of your faith.

Q: How is spirituality incorporated into the treatment process?
A: If you and your partner are open to it, I am comfortable integrating your spirituality into the therapeutic process. This can include discussions around faith, incorporating spiritual practices that are meaningful to you, and using your shared beliefs as a foundation to strengthen your relationship. I may also gently challenge your interpretations of culture and faith if these are standing in the way of building a healthy marriage.

Q: Can we do the assessment and therapy sessions online?
A: Yes, I along with many Gottman-trained therapists offer both in-person and online sessions, providing flexibility to meet your needs.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, please contact me at [email protected]